set apart

So I started my student teaching clinicals this week and I'm working with a class of 3rd graders. It's been a pretty positive experience so far and I'm liking it more than I thought I would. For awhile now, I've been set on teaching in the middle grades, probably 7th or 8th grade English and literature. But the young kids are so fun to work with and I'm glad to have such an opportunity. So far, I've only taught one reading lesson, but I'm slowly being integrated into the classroom and am looking forward to teaching the rest of the disciplines. It's one thing to be a student in a classroom; it's another thing entirely to be teaching a class.

Since today was Halloween, the schedule was a little different. But I'm glad it was. See, the teachers organized a collaborative reading activity for some of the 7th and 3rd graders. We all met in the library and the students broke up into small groups so the 7th graders could read Halloween stories to the younger kids. I can't even describe how fulfilling it was to watch all of this happen. The students were so involved with the stories and also with each other. It was apparent that every teacher monitoring the activity was completely filled with....joy. There was something so profound about watching these students work together that every adult in that room recognized. It was incredible.

Every once in a while, we get a brief glimpse of how good life actually is.

simple

Dreams are not out of reach. That you are alive is proof that anything is possible.

in rainbows

Trying a new look. I am completely immersed in the new Radiohead album.

what day is this

So I might as well take the time to write a post that you might know what the hell I'm talking about. Usually I don't sit down at the computer and write but tonight I will make an exception. Today (well, yesterday I guess) was fairly interesting. See, I didn't get back to my apartment until about 3am and I had to wake up for a meeting at 8:30. So I got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep before I woke up to shower and attempted to erase any evidence that I'm a piece of shit who stays up drinking until 3 in the morning. I think it worked out alright, and it's damn good that it did. Had I not taken the effort to do this, I would have been quite embarrassed. This was a fairly professional meeting that dealt with the student teaching clinicals I have coming up (that's right! 3rd grade by the way). There were so many people in this lecture hall and I can't imagine being surrounded by all of them with the scent of cigarettes and liquor streaming from my body. And to top it off, one of my professors sat right next to me! So the moral of the story is that I am blessed to have woken up early enough to clean up. Or maybe that I'm just blessed in general. I passed out right after the meeting.

Wow. I hope your night was classier than mine.

the stark contrast

What are you anxious for? It is in this moment that you have no obligations, no worries. It is this moment that you reflect on later with enjoyment. Yet your presence here is anything but acknowledged. Satisfaction is this distant ideal that you are headed for on a treadmill. Yet writing has its rewards. It is only through writing that passion is realized. Or perhaps creating would be a more appropriate term. Creation induces passion; passion does not go unchecked. So the reason for existence in total is undying passion. Passion is embedded in that distant satisfaction, where love and excitement radiate from its core. The other spectrum of the world is obviously pain. Pain is the unconscious addiction that is pulling us backward on the treadmill. Its reality is so depriving that we tend to just give up on treading altogether. And it is at this time when we fall further from satisfaction, further from passion and love. So it is our responsibility to keep ourselves in check, away from chaos and destruction.

taking hits off the surface

Blogging tends to focus way too much on the author. So I'd like to hear about you.

What is it you love most? What is it you desire most? What is it you value most?

you won't remember anyway

You have no idea, but you fill up a good portion of my life. And by my life, I mean that voice in my head dictating the way I look at the world. You influence the way that I interpret my experience and play a central role in the ambiguity of hope floating around in my mind. I can't even begin to search elsewhere. You are the reason for every excuse and every mishap in my life. Yet the corollary here is not one wrought with anger. In fact, it is just the opposite.

I need to get out. I need to detach. I need theoretical salvation. I cannot continue in this physical growth. I desire the spirit. I desire serenity. I desire a place away from this chaotic construction of my mind. I am thoroughly exhausted. I need awakening. I need understanding. I am completely lost. I am completely helpless.

So those are some thoughts.