you won't remember anyway

You have no idea, but you fill up a good portion of my life. And by my life, I mean that voice in my head dictating the way I look at the world. You influence the way that I interpret my experience and play a central role in the ambiguity of hope floating around in my mind. I can't even begin to search elsewhere. You are the reason for every excuse and every mishap in my life. Yet the corollary here is not one wrought with anger. In fact, it is just the opposite.

I need to get out. I need to detach. I need theoretical salvation. I cannot continue in this physical growth. I desire the spirit. I desire serenity. I desire a place away from this chaotic construction of my mind. I am thoroughly exhausted. I need awakening. I need understanding. I am completely lost. I am completely helpless.

So those are some thoughts.